update?

yes.

it's true. i've strayed from this

lately.

well well well

i got 700 back from the old apartment.

gone

didnt send any to the credit card

honestly im not sure where a large chunk of it went

cars been acting up

it died saturday on my way home to do laundry and ive been contemplating ever since

im not one to freak out when ive got car trouble. i mean i know it can always be fixed

but dying. not cool with me

its really been bugging me.

and its gonna sound really really weird but i think ive figured out why.

you know people always drive around crapped out cars for so long before they actually just die.

well i dont want to be one of those people. it scares me

and i think its cause i hate getting help.

i dont like asking for help if it dont have to

id rather be able to do it on my own. this aparently includes fixing my car

i dont want to have to bring it into the garage twice a year to get stuff fixed.

i dont know. hey i admitted it would sound weird. but well.

i just need to decide now if im getting a new one or if im sticking it out with this one.

who knows

but i need to decide before the end of the week

i cant keep thinking about this all so hard

its honeslty getting to me

and i now need to go to sleep cause im sick and i have to be to work in the morning

and i know im gonna get my ass chewed out by a customer who wants something done

and well i fucked it up not once not twice but now three times.

and hes been great up till now

but i have a 100% feeling im getting ripped a new one tomorrow when he comes back in for it and i dont have it again

whatever.

i hate my job. who doesnt

maybe thats why i like drugs?