hmm

current away message reads:

: i dont know what kind of mood im in right now. i think i just need a hug :

thats the only way i can think to put it
my mom just called literally just got off the phone.
her aunt died last night.
then she adds in that my dad had possible skin cancer removed from his head today.





all of this added into my night last night of little to no sleep
and weird weird dreams.








i think im going crazy.

revelations 1:1

• I'm having a really hard time figuring out where i stand in life
• part of me wants to be excited about the work thing
• another part of me is saying "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU CALL HER BACK!"
• and then theres this other part which is simply me in a big white room banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why i didnt just GoToCollege~!

I wonder what would have been different. what would i not have had to
suffer
through. but at the same time i would have missed SO MUCH already. not to
imagine what is to come. There is one single thing i am trying to find

and it seems to be the hardest thing for me to possibly find. please, someone . help me.